for my dear brothers

these are my dear boys at St. Joe's. I know them all by name and became very close with them.
My heart goes out to all of them tonight because I miss them too and can only pray that they are doing ok. I pray with all my heart that they will know that God's love will be with them where every they my end up, on the streets or in a home. I pray that they see me as their sister that they could turn to at any time to ask for help or just for a simple hug in comfort. To count stars with, play soccer, be the star in your movie, or to just enjoy the show. I hope that one day you will be able to spread your wings wide to fully enjoy and explore the life God made you to live. Be strong, know where you stand and look at how far you've come. I miss you all very much, ~megan

Bravo You-You Bravo!!!!

Bravo You-You Bravo:

I’ve been meaning to do this for quite some time now but I really just want this to be a thank you and a moment in memory of us.

There were so many things that I wanted to say that last day but didn’t know how and there was little time to stop. My mind often drifts back to Haiti, to my spot on the roof under the stars, to the kids, but very often to you as well. Angela I have incredible respect for what you do, where you’ve come from, and the women of Christ that you are. I look to you as a mentor, as my sister, as my friend, and as a motherly figure.

When I first came I just laugh at myself for being so indecisive around you. It was understandable, I was out of my element for one thing and anyone coming in just sees that this is your turf so I was a little hesitant to walk where you were. That all changed very quickly, thanks to St. Joe’s boys who threw us both into some very dramatic, childish predicaments. To be honest I’m really glad that I came when I did because you were being worn thin and needed an outlet. That was me and I was very glad to fill those shoes. I just remember letting it all out, pacing under your moon. It was time and I’m glad I was there. From that moment on I felt like there was nothing that could come between us. I trusted you with everything and we became accountability partners without that even being said. I love how our prayers, conversations, and questions were so real. They were deep and out in the open. We let ourselves become so vulnerable witch is the beauty of our friendship. I want you to know that I cherish everything that was said between us and I’m not just walking away with your secrets. I’m not walking away at all. I’m still here, still praying, somehow still under the same light that comes from your moon. We are still connected and I will make an effort so that this friendship will never be broken.

In so many ways I feel like I was walking in your foot steps. I was there for your one year anniversary. What a blessing that was, what a night! In a lot of ways you are doing and have done what I feel called to do and what I can only hope to do. If I came back (witch will happen) I would come to pay more attention in learning what it takes to run an orphanage. What you do, to shadow. I saw a lot of it but didn’t ask my questions and know that I missed a lot of things. Plus I just can’t stay way from those kids.

Bravo! The Lord has blessed you in so many ways. You can cut hair, cook for and feed 33 children, put out fires, demolish an army of tarantulas, make an awesome casserole, and will go swimming with me in the street. I love how we would laugh until we cried. I think about all our movies and our game, the conversation of enlightenment with Jimmy and Junior “My Ass”. Singing in the chapel, and picking flowers. I love and respect how you are so willing to share your faith and how grounded you are in Him. I think the part I love most looking back on all our memories is how I’ve seen you at the top of your game, yet you’ve let me in to be a part of your most confidential feelings and moments. I’ve seen you pray over your child in a hospital, cry over a death, become astonished by the faith of a child. I’ve seen the fire light up in your eyes when a boy was once again forced to wander the streets of Haiti. I’ve seen you so passionate and strong but I’ve also seen the tenderest moments that could have only come from the center of your heart. I’ve seen you melt, become a puddle, and collapse in bewilderment about the reality of who just walked through the door. I can’t thank you enough for sharing those moments with me and I will always cherish them.

So I thank you.

Thank you for everything that you’ve taught me and will teach me. I feel like you’re the older version of me. You are living the life I hope to live one day. You’ve played such a big part in my life and I don’t think we’re done yet.

Please know that I pray for you every day. I know that it’s a lot of responsibility but you are right where God wants you to be. The way I can tell so is just by looking at you, anyone can see how happy you are and how much the kids are in love with you. I pray that you never loose that focus. I send my love and always look for you in the moon.

I love you!

tonight among the stars

tonight my mind drifts back to my spot on the roof.

On the roof my mind would get lost in thought among
with the loving company of the stars all around me.
I see you-you's moon shinning brightly as it always does,
like I wish I could. The spot on the roof where I would eat
dinner, where I would take naps, where I would watch kids
walk to school, where angela and I would pray, question,
and feel safe.

Last night I went star gazing with some of my dear friends
from school and it was hard to be present with them. I found
myself wishing that I could become a star so I could gaze down
on my kids, so I could hear the nannys sing the kids to sleep.
It was very frustrating yet comforting to be laying under the same
stars that they were. I wish I was there. I wish that I could lay
down beside zeff and jonas to be with them till they fall asleep.

tonight my heart is with you as it often is. sleep well my dear
little ones and my angela find peace and rest.

still here

I have so much that I want to say and get out about spending this week in Disney World but that time will come soon. I don't have internet but for a few minutes when I pick it up randomly........sounds like haiti.

it's hard but good. and being with my family makes me very happy.

ps- Can you find me on the roller coaster?, all thanks to dad.

Disney World

My room

this was my room and my new hair cut and the metal tree that I bought while in haiti.
Angela and I painted James 1:27 on the walls in Creole and in english and i love how it
turned out. Full of color and art from the kids with pictures on the walls I was doing just fine.

GOOD DAY

Today was such a good day for me. I went into church to talk about my internship with them and what I will be doing over the summer. As we talked I got more and more excited about my job. I'll be doing all kinds of things.

Teaching Sunday School for senior highs and college
Youth night
Triennium
Outdoor Challenge
Cleaning the rec closet
Overnight for theme and water parks
Montreat
Vacation Bible School
Massanetta Middle School
Volunteer RBI, recreation
Youth Dancers
Global and Local Missions
Working with inner city homeless kids
and some more odds and ins

We have great ideas and guess what!?! I'm going to have a name plate and an office. A NAME PLATE! That's so crazy for me because I've always been with recreation and never stay in the same place long enough for people to find me. That will still be the case but still, it makes me feel important. Plus as you can guess things have been hard for me being back in the states. I really miss Haiti but I can't go back yet and so I felt kind of stuck. Not now. Now I have something to hold my attention and give me a focus, new passion and motivation. A new goal. That's what I was looking for, what I needed. I have such a great feeling about this summer that I know God has me right where I'm meant to be. I also feel like there will be great responsibility that comes with this job and I can now say that I’m ready for it. I grew up a lot in Haiti and feel ready for life, for this job, for a challenge. I also talked to a summer friend while eating ice cream with my feet in the pool and the stars overhead. I miss him and I've been so far away from that part of my life that it was nice to remember and go back. I've grown up but still that good fun mountain girl that you know so well who will get her toes muddy and try something new. I thank you for your friendship and for just being you.

It's a comfort to know that somehow I never left haiti. That tonight I sit under the same stars. The same stars that you you will be sleeping under and all our kids. the same stars that my parents can see and all the people i love. I give praise for the stars tonight.

know that I'm ok. I'm ok.

Steven

Steven is the oldest boy at Three Angels. He is old enough to take dance lessons at St. Joe's and started when I came. Steven and I grew very close as the weeks went by and I loved him like he was my younger brother. He is the one who touched my heart very deeply with the love he has for all. He has such a gentle heart that he doesn't guard. He tells you what he is feeling and is not afraid to speak up in front of a group to give a prayer request. His faith is so strong at such a young age that I feel shame to sit by him at times. Faith like a child. He is just beginning to question things yet at the same time is so stable in the love of God. Back to dance lessons. Steven wanted to keep this a secret from his adoptive parents and surprise them. Angela would walk Steven back and forth to these dance lessons three times a week. The time came when Steven would be added into the dance theatre. We found the news to be true my last week there. I would get to see Steven dance for the first time!!!

Angela and I could not believe that this was really about to happen. We told Angela Belle that she could come with us, she is being adopted with Steven and they are very very close. The three of us cleaned up and looked our best to go see our brother and child dance. We were all filled with so much excitement that we practically ran to St. Joe's. We took our seats and the dance began. I felt so blessed to be there, to witness this moment, I humbled and would have traded with his parents if I could have because it was such a big moment. We couldn't sit still and we couldn't stop smiling. Then for the big moment when he came out and I'll tell you what, he gave it all he had. Steven danced his heart out. He was awsome. We clapped and cheered as loud as we could and I took a moment to look over and see his proud sister smiling the biggest smile I've ever seen and to see Angela looking on like the proud mother that she is to Steven. I love that I took that moment. It says so much about the orphanage and how much love Angela gives to those children. She supports everything they do and I will never forget that night.

Bravo Steven!!! BRAVO. Steven will always hold a special place in my heart and I will never forget all the things he taught me or the gentle person he is.

puppy time

This is KC's puppy that we had fun with up at wings. I don't remember her name but she brought a lot of joy to us all and made for some great pictures.

oh haiti

all I can do right now is look at pictures and remember.

back

We made it back to the states. It wasn't an easy or fun trip back but the good things is that I'm safe and ok. What a long day and being sick on top of rushing all day is no fun.

I'm sad.

I miss Haiti, my kids, the boys, my dear sister Angela, the roof, the sounds, and even the smell. I'm back but I'm in my own world right now. In the words of Bill, "I'm miles away." My thoughts and my heart isn't here. It's going to take me a while to talk about my trip, to process it all, and then to in turn share it.

I don't ask you to understand because you never will till you go but I do ask you to sit and listen to their stories. Open your heart and close your eyes so you don't see me, see and feel them, the people of Haiti. In turn I hope you will be changed and compelled to care, to love, to give and to see me with new eyes.

it was wonderful, I will go back.